Conservative Values

You just got to love Christian conservatives.

KATY, Texas - A plan to build a mosque in this Houston suburb has triggered a neighborhood dispute, with community members warning the place will become a terrorist hotbed and one man threatening to hold pig races on Fridays just to offend the Muslims.

Many neighborhood residents claim they have nothing against Muslims and are more concerned about property values, drainage and traffic.

But one resident has set up an anti-Islamic Web site with an odometer-like counter that keeps track of terrorist attacks since Sept. 11. A committee has formed to buy another property and offer to trade it for the Muslims’ land. And next-door neighbor Craig Baker has threatened to race pigs on the edge of the property on the Muslim holy day. Muslims consider pigs unclean and do not eat pork.

All right, I don't know if they're Christian conservatives, but it is a good bet that most are. Craig Baker says later in the article that he has to go ahead with the pig races or he'll look like an idiot.

Sorry ... you already did that.

More Frank Zappa

More Frank Zappa. A little Cosmic Debris and a kick butt solo by Frank.

Immaculate Conception?

Dick Cheney to be a grandpa again. Mary Cheney, his 37-year old daughter is expecting according to a source.

WASHINGTON - Mary Cheney, the openly gay daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney and wife Lynne, is pregnant, according to a published report. Mary Cheney, 37, and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, 45, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, The Washington Post reported in Wednesday's editions, quoting an unnamed source close to the couple.

Some of the more weird elements of the Christian Right will see this as either the advent of the apocalypse, or the answer to their prayers.

Just having some fun, so keep the comments cool. Other Side wishes the best to Mary Cheney and Heather Poe. Mary Cheney especially has maintained herself with dignity and I must say this about Dick "The Mouth" Cheney ... in this regard his behavior has been beyond reproach.

Duped and Used

Saw the article first in the JS Online, then went to the humble folkbum to see if he had latched onto it. I then let it sink in a bit ... in the end, I decided (as others have also) two words apply to Owen at Boots and Sabers and Peter at Texas Hold'em Blogger, two of the loudest conservative bloggers.

Duped!

Used!

This is what happens when someone untrained in journalism attempts to be a journalist. Guys, you are bloggers, not reporters. You don't need to apologize to anyone. I would offer, however, the proverbial towel to wipe the egg off your face.

First Contact

Made unexpected contact today with the local Klingon blogger, Chris at spotted horse 2. That encounter caused me to pop in Star Trek: First Contact. I am such a Star Trek geek. I always get choked up when the Vulcan ship lands and James Cromwell (Zephran Cochran)makes first contact in the form of a handshake.

Will we ever meet another spacefaring race? The odds are not good, considering the distances to be covered. But you never know. There is already alien life in southeastern Wisconsin.

Don't Eat The Yellow Snow

This is for my 11-year old son, Ian. He took the doggies out during the first snowfall of the year and marveled at the yellow snow ... in a way only an 11-year old can. A little Frank Zappa ....

So Much for Meaningless Studies

Having read another meaningless piece about who gives more, conservatives or liberals (this one by Thomas Sowell ... sorry, no link), I decided that I would produce my own scientific work.

Considering this is the last weekend of work at my part-time job, I decided to determine who was less rude, conservatives or liberal. There were exactly twenty-seven people whom I extended my hand to, to receive either cash or credit card to pay for gas or other consumables. In each case in which my hand was ignored and the aforementioned cash or credit card was ignorantly tossed onto the counter, I asked afterward whether the person considered themself conservative or liberal. Twenty-six replied they were conservative.

Accordingly, I have come to the conclusion that conservatives are mostly arrogant pricks.

Do I truly believe this? No. No more than I believe that more conservatives give blood than liberals, as the study Sowell relies on states (or the reverse for that matter). How in the hell does one quantify that anyway?

It's Where You Live That Matters

There seems to be some confusion yet regarding the racist encounter last year in the Town of Merton, home to defeated attorney general candidate Paul Bucher, and his wife, talk show pundit, newspaper columnist and erstwhile lecturer at UWM, Jessica McBride.

Town of Merton - Next week, the public will know what criminal penalty two former North Lake firefighters will serve over their racist encounter with a Milwaukee fisherman and his family.

But the public remains in the dark about what kind of money was paid to Mark Bratton and his relatives to settle a federal lawsuit filed against the North Lake Fire Department; the two firefighters, then-Fire Chief Terrence J. Stapleton and Mark J. Weber; and the Town of Merton.

Fire Department and town officials contend that they don't know the settlement figure. They and their attorneys insist that no paper record exists of the settlement.

Hmmm … racist firefighters from the Town of Merton. Bucher and McBride live in the Town of Merton. According to the rules of association played so often by McBride and other conservative lackeys, doesn’t this mean that Bucher and McBride are … firefighters too? Maybe not.

Only in Wisconsin

Only in Wisconsin can it be 55 degrees and raining cats and dogs November 29th, and the next day I can't get my car doors open because they are frozen shut.

The Remarkable World of McBride

The Brew City Brawler usually does a bang up job exposing Jessica McBride’s mockery of professional journalism. But after reading the entire McBride piece, I can understand why the Brawler doesn’t take the time to launder the entire mess, rather resorting to steam cleaning. His frustration oozes from the printed word as he responds to McBride’s lengthy attempt to cover up for a corrupt administration. I imagine the Brawler as he types the following paragraph, each subsequent keystroke heavier and with more emphasis, the last so forceful that the keyboard considers ending its life and jumping off the edge of the desk:

Umm, yellow cake? Aluminum tubes? Relying on sources who we had reason to believe were full of shit? These are just off the top of my head. Has she read a book about Iraq? Watched a newscast?

I can forgive the Brawler this brief foray. McBride is perplexing. How she can take the talking points provided to her and still prove unable to piece together a cogent argument is mind-boggling (Perhaps not, it would explain much about the current administration). And it’s mind-boggling that a major university continues to pay her to instruct students.

Nonetheless, as I was rested, I decided to continue for the obviously exhausted Brawler.

Her first few paragraphs are meaningless drivel regarding the innocence of the Bush administration's motives. As the Brawler correctly noted above, where has McBride been all this time? How can she say with a straight face the Bush administration has not dishonestly manipulated information? They’ve been doing it for four years.

She examines the process of hallucination when she writes that the reason we went to war in Iraq was because “… we’d decided that our national security mandated that we preempt threats before they are directly upon us.” How in the world was Iraq a threat? There were no WMDs. There was no army. It had been devastated in the previous war. It is true that Saddam was a tyrant. But if being a tyrant is enough reason to garner a response from our military, then why aren’t we writing up plans to invade one third of the nations on this planet?

A McBride piece would not be complete without a mention of 9/11. This time she out does herself. She was there she says … the day after. What was she doing there, one must ask? I'm sure she bandaged and comforted the wounded, gave blood twice that awful day after, advised the President and helped develop the administration’s subsequent course of action. And, she had tea with Condi.

Actually, we don’t know why she was there. She doesn’t say. There’s no reason to. Isn’t it enough for us to know she was?

Just asking, but was she in New Orleans the day after Katrina?

Anyway, she then places this amazing piece of nonsense for us to digest. Saddam was bluffing the world about his WMDs.

Huh? There might have been a time before Desert Storm that this was true, but since then he had been stating loudly for all to hear that he had no interest in WMDs. It was a rare moment in his life to be telling the truth. To be sure, Saddam put up roadblocks to U.N. inspectors, but doing so was certainly not enough reason to invade.

And when it was discovered that the rationale for our assault was so much hocus pocus, a new rationale was slipped in before our distracted eyes and "whallah," (inside joke for those who do not know McBride ... her spelling of the French word voila) planting democracy is the reason for being there. For McBride, this sleight of hand brings no confusion … nor is it a problem. Hmmm, the real reason we went to war never really existed so now this is the real reason for going to war.

Actually, in the words of McBride, the reason we went to war was to foment revolution. And she’s right (this happens occasionally) revolution is not easy ... to sell. I’m sure the parents and siblings of the 3,000 American servicemen and women who have given their lives for the Iraqi revolution will be relieved to know this is the REAL reason their loved ones were sent overseas.

I’m beginning to understand the Brawler’s reasoning. The more I type, the angrier I get. Conservatives like McBride are quick to trot out the “angry left” mantra as a means to color their views objective and reasoned. Sadly, it’s just another sorry attempt at deception and distraction. One wishes conservatives were more thoughtful.

So, I think that I too, have reached my fill of McBride. However, not before dissecting this silly statement:

I also believe that Iraq has made monumental progress in a few short years. I don’t believe those stories are emphasized enough by the media.

Monumental progress?

Monumental progress towards what … civil war? More innocent Iraqis have been killed in the past four years than in all of the time that Saddam was in power. The country is split along religious fault lines more than ever before. The insurgency is everywhere and getting stronger and Iraq has become the focus of terrorist groups around the globe. Additionally, we have alienated the people of more than half the world with our arrogance.

There was a time that America was looked upon as that shining beacon of hope. In six short years, conservative policy makers (serious people, you know) have taken any good will people might have had for us and thrown it away in useless partisanship and disregard.

McBride wants the Democrats and media to reframe the debate toward one of victory, not failure. Is McBride saying that what has been wrought through Republican intransigence must be solved with more of the same?

UPDATE: The Brawler recharges.

UPDATE: The humble folkbum lets us in on what McBride really missed.

You've Got to be Crazy to Vote for Bush

h/t Tom Tomorrow

If Pat McIlheran can write a piece (with a straight face) claiming evidence that conservatives give more to charities than liberals, then I think it only fair to provide proof (after all these years) that psychotics vote for Bush.

A collective “I told you so” will ripple through the world of Bush-bashers once news of Christopher Lohse’s study gets out.

Lohse, a social work master’s student at Southern Connecticut State University, says he has proven what many progressives have probably suspected for years: a direct link between mental illness and support for President Bush.

Hey, please note I didn't say conservatives were psychotic. Though, there are a few that should be on medication. Chris, are you still hallucinating (wait for it ...)?

Hello Dolly

When at a loss for words, as I have been of late ... there's always Satchmo!

More Tom Tomorrow

Paddy Mac IS Generic Conservative Guy.

















-- Working for Change

They're Still Not Listening

This is too funny.

















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I Need a Vacation

Just when I thought I might be able to breeze into the Thanksgiving holiday without anyone getting my dander up and simply enjoy the season, two items cross my path and remind me why conservatism is such a bankrupt philosophy.

The first is a blog post by, none other than Patrick McIlheran. No surprise there, the man is a weiner. In this post, entitled: “Who cares? Quantitatively, that is: Who cares?", McIlheran drones on about a piece of fieldwork done by Syracuse Professor Arthur C. Brooks. Brooks apparently proves that (in McIlheran’s words) “…it’s religious conservatives who give more to compassionate causes than secular liberals.”

Four things came to mind while reading the post. One: Beliefnet, which is where McIlheran grabbed this piece of flotsam, is hardly unbiased. Disregard.

Two: The sentence written above in point one by McIlheran was obviously done without the aid of any serious thought (uh, since over 90 percent of the population has some sort of a belief in God, it’s unlikely that secularism rules the liberal side). Disregard.

Three: Brooks was a Democrat, then a Republican and now is independent … oh, okay … I believe him now. This apparently qualifies him as unbiased. More likely it qualifies him as confused, or paid. Disregard.

And lastly: Did it ever occur to Paddy Mac that liberals don’t advertise their charitable works because, well, they don’t need the “pat” (bad pun) on the back. It’s conservatives and mostly conservative Christians who whine most about being picked on (except for dad29, his thoughts are straight forward, without any whining, I can forgive him his hallucinations). Disregard.

The other thing was directed to my attention by Charlie Sykes (hey, I was listening to the game the previous day). Anyway, this from Owen Robinson at the popular SM site, Boots and Slippers.

The MJS Editorial Board really is infuriating sometimes… okay, most of the time. For a prime example, let’s look at a few moist morsels of their latest shit burger that they expected us all to swallow this morning. At issue is the DOT’s proposed 46% hike in the registration fee that they requested two months after it was due and conveniently after the election.
First, the MJS completely blows off the issue of the timing.

The timing of the recommendations was suspect because the recommendations, due two months ago, came after the Nov. 7 election. DOT officials say the timing was not political. Maybe, but it looks funny. And inconsequential. Does anyone seriously think that the announcement would have turned the election against Gov. Jim Doyle?

The thought that crossed my mind was this: If Green had been governor and this had occurred, do you think Owen would be complaining? Nah! Owen would probably be explaining that Green was above the fray and had in fact not wanted to introduce something like this so close to the election. Kind of like Bush and Rummy. Hmm, using Paddy Mac’s logic above, does this mean all conservatives are liars?

Well, happy Thanksgiving all. Enjoy the time with family.

Dearly Beloved

I hate to admit it, but hat tip to Charlie Sykes for this story.

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, Public Defender Fredric Anderson, argued that since the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

Add this to the litany of slippery slope issues surrounding gay marriage. I’m sure James Dobson, his carnival sidekick, Pat Robertson and the mutant woman, Ann Coulter, would agree it’s a natural progression.

My favorite part was this comment from the judge, Michael Lucci: “I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case.”

Uh, you know something we don’t judge?

Mindless Automaton and Friends Return

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-- Working for Change

Get Off Your Phone

Having dodged two people today who were chatting on their cell phones when they decided to make lane switches without using signal lights, I’m all in favor of this.

Glendale - This city has passed an ordinance, believed to be the first of its kind in the metro area, that will allow police to ticket people who are yakking on their cell phones if they are involved in an accident or stopped for another violation.

It all resulted from a drive to work along Good Hope Road about three weeks ago by Frederick "Rip" McManus, whose wife, Cindy, is a member of the Glendale Common Council.

Within the space of just a couple of blocks, he saw an accident and a near accident involving drivers talking on cell phones.

Joke for the Day

50th Wedding Anniversary

A couple was celebrating their 50th anniversary at their local church's marriage marathon. The minister knew this and asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

Brother Ralph replied to the audience:

"Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The minister asked where they took trips.

"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China.

"The minister said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands. Ralph, please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Brother Ralph said, "I'm going to go get her."

Aren't You a Little Old to be Playing With Dolls

This is funny … I’m waiting for Jessica McBride: “I don’t care if Muslim kids receive one of these dolls, when was the last time they ever attended church?” Anyway, from Los Angeles:

A company that sells Bible-quoting Jesus dolls said it was surprised and disappointed that the Marine Reserves’ Toys for Tots program turned down its offer to donate 4,000 of the talking dolls.

“I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible,” said Michael La Roe, director of business development for Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co. and its one2believe division, which makes the line of Bible
character dolls.

Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va., said the offer was turned down because Toys for Tots doesn’t know anything about the religious affiliations of the children who receive its gifts.

Anne Quimby Mathias was quick to jump into the fray. She says she is not really offended by the donation, but offers this Christmas morning scene:

… some poor little poor kid, excited to open what is likely one of a very few presents. He’s hoping for a Tonka truck, football, maybe a GI Joe or Spiderman action figure…and he gets the One Foot Talking Jesus Doll.

The horror.

Meanwhile, this post title at Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy caught my attention: “Why Do Our Troops Hate Christmas.” Bill O’Reilly was too slow.

I for one have no problem with the doll as long as equal representation is ensured. I have a view gift ideas for the holiday season. For instance, we should not forget those touched by his noodly appendage, the followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. His dolly could spout the abridged version of the FSM’s Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.”

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): Ending Poverty, Curing Diseases, Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable.
7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas.

The beloved Buddy Christ could be distributed by Marines to not only tots, but to Iraqis suspected of pissing the Marines off.

Lastly, to celebrate the inevitable third coming of Tom Reynolds into Wisconsin politics, there is the cute “Tom as Jesus” doll. All you have to do to get the doll talk is push a button on the dolls butt. A lawyer pops out and says one of these three timely phrases:

1. Thou shalt not make fun of me.
2. Thou shalt not spake the address of my print shop in vain.
3. Hav you herd the wurd of my campaign manerger, Boob?