Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Racers Edge

I keep running into inconsiderate drivers. I generally attribute their misbehavior to being moronic, conservative, or both. Usually both. I suspect I’m right most of the time. The usual culprits have shorter hair, look in their mid-twenties to low thirties, have a nice car (one I wish I had, I admit) and look…Republican. Come on, you know the look…”Fuck you, I voted for the winning party and you’re just a loser.” You know, not very intelligent looking.

I’ve been inspired by StB. He has his own piece on this subject (apparently others, too). It’s obviously important to him and he drinks. He should seriously consider AA, but he hasn’t reached that place in his life where everything is viewed from down under. Besides, he probably thinks AA is for losers and…gasp…liberals. Another sure sign of his being in need of help.

Anyway, his post about his encounter with this guy reminded me of encounters I’ve had with people like him (except I’m at least 10 miles an hour over the speed limit…always).

So I’m doing about 68 in a 55 and this guy gets on my butt and flips on the brights. Uh, excuse me, I’m going way over the speed limit, I can’t get over to the right because there are two cars next to me and why are you being such a dick (note to StB: you said never be a dick…you already were when you got on the guy’s ass and flipped the lights)?

Anyway, my plan is to get over and let this butthead by, but now he starts flipping his lights on and off at me. So, yeah, I tap the brakes. Now, StB thinks this is a pussy move. Sorry, ding dong, you’re the one behind me being the ass…I have the power, not you. So, back off and how do you know I’m not packing? You don’t (I’m gonna love the concealed weapon law…morons like StB will never tailgate again…won’t they?).

I’ve now sped up a bit to get in front of the traffic on my right just so Speed Racer can zip by. I pull over and look over at this DICK as he passes by and he starts clapping. I was wrong all the time. He’s not a dick, he a trained seal. He’s even got the sparse covering of whiskers to prove it. I didn’t know they could get licenses.

Well this was a fun exercise. For the amount of time it took to write this (much shorter than StB I’ll bet) I was able to step into the shoes of a conservative and experience how it feels to be a knob. It’s not that much fun…you see, I don’t like to act like a dick. So I’ll just let StB be the one and hope he gets help someday.

0 Swings of the bat: