Faux Outrage of the Week

Considering that I don't have the time to spend on this blog as I used to or would like, naming this piece Faux Outrage of the Week might seem presumptuous ... it likely won't come out weekly though if I did have the time I can guarantee that material for this award would be ample from our mirthless friends on the extreme right side of the cheddarsphere.

Anyway, this inaugural award covers the lather Owen Robinson at Boots & Sabers worked himself into over a post by Michael Mathias. Proving that a sense of humor is not something you are born with, Robinson self-righteously took offense at Mathias' posting of the following picture.


Below the picture, Mathias added the following.

I’d say this photo is proof positive that Gableman is going to be captive to the state's most extreme special interests should he be elected to the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

I laughed. So did James Wigderson (pictured on the far left), proving that not all righties are hopeless lost causes. It was a funny caption to the picture, certainly not one to be taken seriously. Except perhaps by those afflicted with a serious case of pretentiousness like Robinson (far right in picture) and Fred -- Mr. Outrage -- Dooley (second to left). FYI: That's Judge Gableman standing between Dooley and Robinson. No word yet on whether he was offended, though I'm surprised he managed to survive the blasts of hot air coming from the defiled duo.

Anyway, I was directed to Robinson's blog and read his retort. I was amused by this.

Furthermore, what is Mathias’ definition of “extreme special interests?” The three bloggers appearing in that picture are just that - bloggers. The only extreme special interest that I represent is myself and my family. Am I not allowed to speak to candidates and tell them my opinions about things? If I do so, does that make the candidate beholden to me? If Mathias speaks with a candidate will that candidate then be beholden to him? Of course not. It’s a ridiculous claim.

Yes, it would be a ridiculous claim, if that claim had ever been made. And even if it had, it would not be nearly as ridiculous as the huffing and puffing that Robinson resorts to. Are you serious, Owen? This coming from the man who previously and melodramatically lamented that he has not been able to shed his blood for his country (er, join up). This from the man who famously claimed foul play by Democrats during Copiergate, only to discover later that he had been played like an out-of-tune instrument. Chill out.

Then there is Fred. The arbiter of all that is good and holy, Saint Fred comes down on Mathias with a splat, kind of like dough hitting the baker's kneading table. Unaware that he has been rolled, Fred proves that the ability to fathom sarcasm is directly related to the abilty to jerk a knee. In other words, if you're a partisan right-wing jerk like Fred, sarcasm will always be an assault on your beliefs. Witness his response in the comment thread.

Michael, you are an idiot.

A picture of anyone talking to anyone does not prove anything.

Chances are if you aranged a party and 45 active people showed up Judge Gabelman would be more than happy to talk to you.

He might even have his picture taken with you.

Huh? Aside from the rude name-calling (yeah, Fred never does that) that series of sentences could only have been written by someone who takes himself way too seriously. Keep in mind, too, that in previous communications, Fred has written he can't understand why lefties find it necessary to attack "normal" and "ordinary tax payers" like himself. The inference being that somehow the rest of us don't quite add up.

Lastly, space is reserved for our favorite Clown Prince, the ever profound mangler of syntax and the rules of grammar, Chris, formerly of Spotted Mouse 2. Revel in his wit and proclivity!

Ah the typical and ever so predictable asshat Mike “Oh I was only joking” excuse

He does this all the time he takes shots at people and when called out right away does not have the guts to stand behind what he said.

Instead he tired to play it off as a “joke”

the best way to handle this asshat it to either give him the finger(worked for me) or just ignore him in the end he really is not worth any of our time

Most entertaining from that passage is the revelation that Chris has given himself the finger at least once in the past. We can't help but wonder where Chris' finger wound up and did it taste rosy?

Anyway, to Owen, Fred and the redoubtable Chris ... the first F-Bomb of 2008.

Keith Olbermann Channels Bill O'Reilly

... or is it Fred Dooley? I don't know, but I tell you it's simply "brilliant." "Genius!"

It's Not Attacking, It's Poking Fun

As always, apologies to the genius of Tom Tomorrow and This Modern World.

Mountains Out of Molehills

Regarding yawning, have you ever noticed that yawning seems to be contagious. Researchers have found that 40-60% of people who see a picture of someone yawning will yawn themselves. Even reading the word YAWN can make people yawn.

Apparently the same holds true for faux conservative outrage. Regarding Fred Dooley's (Real Debate Wisconsin blog author) taunt to Jay Bullock (folkbum's rambles and rants bog author) and his thought that a 1,000 word post is in the offing.

YAWN.

Be assured that 40-60% of conservative bloggers will follow suit.

Update: Mike Mathias and Nick Schweitzer chime in about the misplaced outrage.

And now Jay does add-on ... though with considerably less than 1,000 words.

Mr. Outrage

Mr. Outrage in the Parallel Universe. Apologies to Tom Tomorrow.

We Will Persevere

James Wigderson of Wigderson Library & Pub, doesn't get it.

I like James. He has a wonderful wife, cute kids, a beautiful mother and an always interesting father who keeps sending me the weirdest stuff imaginable via e-mail (keep it up, Bill ... I do look at every one of them). James' politics are diametrically opposed to mine, but we can talk. Sometimes it gets a little hot. Most often, though, humor defuses the tense situations and we come to an understanding.

However, in this instance, his defense of Jessica McBride, while expected and applauded (he is, after all, a friend of hers), is wrong on many levels.

The key point he misses in his lengthy and rambling defense is this: McBride should not have asked the question in the first place.

One would have thought a journalism lecturer (you know, a professional) would have known better than to write such an ill-advised and questionably bigoted statement. One would have thought she would have waited for more facts rather than making flippant remarks. If after the fact it had been determined that the people murdered were indeed gangsta rappers, then perhaps a story about the dangers inherent in that musical profession, with links to the Tupac shooting and other incidents might have been relevant.

But McBride didn't do that. That's the shame of McBride and the reason her exploits are exposed. The right would rather that their words were ignored, while they are allowed to attack with reckless abandon. Why do you think they are so against the Fairness Doctrine and so obsessed with "liberal" bias?

It's because they can't win the argument. And now that liberals have caught on to conservative tactics and are again winning the public opinion war, conservatives are fretting.

Fret away and never fear, the McBride, Fred Dooley, Peter DiGaudio and right-wing watch will continue unabated.

F-Bomb

The number of invasions of liberal blogs by Fred Dooley of Real Debate Wisconsin infamy, and the bad taste he usually leaves with his rude comments prompted this artistic rendering. It gives new meaning to the term F-bomb.














And then, of course, there is the double-entendre.

By the way, I like bike paths.

Because I Care (Surprisingly)

Though I may disagree with him on everything, and I think his over-the-top rhetoric does nothing for civil debate ... .

Still, I don't want him to die and I do hope that he continues to live a full and (though morally impoverished) bountiful life, especially for his family and friends. So, I would like to offer local blogger and right-wing firebrand, Fred Dooley of Real Debate Wisconsin, this heartfelt assistance and help. Below is part of a diet plan that I have been using. So far, it's been useful in helping me lose ten pounds. Coupled with a modicum of exercise, like simply walking for one half hour every day, my energy level has risen precipitously. I was out the other day playing football with my ten and eight year-old nephews ... still got it at 51.

Provided to you because despite all of our differences, we still share humanity. Oh, and I would consider yoga. It helps clear the mind and stretch those muscles.

Breakfast
• 1 cup Cheerios
• 1/2 cup berries (fresh or frozen)
• 1 cup fat-free or low-fat milk
• 1 whole-grain English muffin, toasted, topped with 2 teaspoons light butter or margarine
• Coffee (if desired)

Mid-morning snack
• 5 pieces dried apricot
• 2 fig bar cookies (such as Fig Newtons)
• 1 cup tea with lemon

Lunch
• Sandwich: one 6-inch whole-wheat pita, spread with 1 tablespoon light mayonnaise (flavored with 1/2 teaspoon horseradish) and stuffed with 2 ounces deli-style roast beef, 1-ounce slice of reduced-fat Cheddar cheese, 3 tomato slices and lettuce
• 6 baby carrots• 1 banana, sprinkled with cinnamon

Afternoon snack
• 8 ounces fat-free plain or light yogurt (any flavor)
• 3 vanilla wafers

Dinner
• 4 ounces grilled or broiled salmon (brushed with honey mustard and 1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed before cooking)
• 2/3 cup brown rice (garnished with 1 teaspoon toasted nuts)
• 3/4 cup sliced asparagus spears, steamed or microwaved, sprinkled with 1 teaspoon Parmesan cheese
• Salad: 2 1/2 cups baby spinach leaves topped with 1 tangerine, peeled and sectioned; 2 scallions, chopped; and 1 tablespoon chopped almonds; drizzled with 2 tablespoons sesame seed vinaigrette salad dressing
• 1 cup light ice cream (any brand that's about 100 calories for 1/2 cup)
• Water or other no-cal beverage

Good luck and long life.

The Demise of the GOP

I've been saying the same thing myself. There are many honorable conservatives/Republicans. Unfortunately for them (I'm not terribly unhappy) their party has been hijacked by the wackjobs like Limbaugh, Coulter, Dobson and a seemingly vast number of rude, uncouth and vulgar conservative commenters that you can read regularly on local blogs. This in its entirety from the Anonymous Liberal.

In his column in the New York Times today, David Brooks explains the collapse of the Republican brand this way:

To put it bluntly, over the past several years, the G.O.P. has made ideological choices that offend conservatism’s Burkean roots. This may seem like an airy-fairy thing that does nothing more than provoke a few dissenting columns from William F. Buckley, George F. Will and Andrew Sullivan. But suburban, Midwestern and many business voters are dispositional conservatives more than creedal conservatives. They care about order, prudence and balanced budgets more than transformational leadership and perpetual tax cuts. It is among these groups that G.O.P. support is collapsing.

John Cole, a Republican-voter as recently as 2004, strongly dissents and offers a different explanation:

Like me. It had nothing to do with Burke, and everything to do with what the party had become. A bunch of bedwetting, loudmouth, corrupt, hypocritical, and incompetent boobs with a mean streak a mile long and no sense of fair play or proportion. . . .

Screw them. I got out. They can have their party. I will vote for Democrats and little L libertarians and isolationists until the crazy people aren’t running the GOP. The threat of higher taxes in the short term isn’t enough to keep me from voting out crazy people and voting for sane people with whom I merely disagree regarding policy. Hillarycare doesn’t scare me as much as Frank Gaffney having a line to the person with the nuclear football or Dobson and company crafting domestic policy.

I think Cole is much closer to the truth here than Brooks. I think the reason the Republican brand has suffered so much of late is because many people have become embarrassed by and no longer want to be associated with the party's public representatives; its most visible television personalities, radio hosts, writers, bloggers, and activists, are by in large, obnoxious, crazy, and embarrassing. It's a clown show. Intelligent conservatives cringe when they see people like Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh on television spouting their toxic nonsense, but this toxic gasbag contingent has come to dominate the GOP. And while this stuff might be red meat to much of the Republican base, it's scaring away the more educated members of the party.

I know this because I know a number of people who, not so long ago, were very proud Republicans and were not at all embarrassed about saying so. And now they're all very disillusioned and quick to tell you that they're not that kind of Republican. The problem for the GOP is that it has allowed a bunch of rabid loons to take control of its messaging and they are tarnishing the brand with their relentless idiocy. As long as this continues, there will continue to be an exodus from the party of people like John Cole, who may not agree with the Democrats on everything, but are just sick and tired of the GOP clown show.

Ode to the Last Good Conservative

Apologies to Tony Orlando and Dawn, authors of "Knock Three Times."

Hey boy what ya doin' next to me
Sittin' alone in your stall while I sit here beside you
I can hear your bladder contracting
I think of your sphincter compacting
One stall beside me you don't even know me
I love you

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

If you look out your window tonight
Pull in the string with the note that says gays are a no no
Read how many times I said it
How people believed I really meant it
Only in my dreams did I know I was living a lie

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

I can hear your body voiding
I can feel there is no avoiding
That one stall beside me you don't even know me
I love you

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show


For Fred (Anytime, Anywhere ... mmm) Dooley

In Quest for Real Debate

With sincere apologies to Tom Tomorrow.

In tribute to Scott D. Feldstein who reguarly takes on the wingnuts and emerges unscathed, if not feeling a little dirty from the encounters. He was recently banned from the humorously named Real Debate Wisconsin blog, a creation of funny man and saint, Fred Dooley.

(click on picture to enlarge)

Fox Reality

The wingnuts love Fox. Why not, it feeds into their twisted sense of what's real. Witness this from This Modern World.

As Tom Tomorrow points out, the vote was actually 52 in favor of pullout. It fell short of the 60 votes needed. But Fox would have you believe a majority voted to shoot down the plan.

I wonder how Fred at Real Debate would see this?

Puff the Magic Commenter

This post is in response to comments made by that master debater, Fred Dooley, author of the hilariously named Real Debate blog. Fred responded first to my post titled "Wrong Again", in which I chastised local former radio host, Jessica McBride, for comparing herself to that tub of malprofundity, Rush Limbaugh, and to man puppet, Ann Coulter. Fred took issue first with my comments that Limbaugh's inelegant spoof of David Ehrenstein's "Obama the Magic Negro" op ed was inherently racist. He asked why I did not condemn Ehrenstein's piece in the same manner as I condemned Limbaugh, reminding me that Ehrenstein is black.

Hmmm. Let me type this slowly for Fred and his friends so they can understand (mind you I type slowly anyway). Ehrenstein's piece was indeed provacative. He spoke of white liberal guilt and its need to replace the "highly sexualized black man" with a benign figure, someone like Scatman Crothers or Will Smith.

But for goodness sake, it was an opinion piece ... and fyi, well written. Make up your own mind, but don't dance around and tell me that Ehrenstein and Limbaugh are somehow related in matters racial.

Limbaugh and his parody ... it had nothing to do with opinion. It had everything to do with satisfying that little itch that can't be scratched publicly, so distract the viewers with a little song and dance. Digby said it best back in April 2007.

He [Limbaugh] knows his audience and what they are thinking. And that little ditty "Barack the Magic Negro" will stick --- not in the minds of the liberals whom Ehrenstein claims see him as the great assuager of liberal guilt, but by racist creeps who just love to snigger and snort over the word "negro." Dittoheads know exactly what Rush is about here no matter what kind of patently absurd nonsense he spews about liberals putting African Americans up on auction blocks. Everybody's in on the joke.

And that's exactly what it was ... a sordid, awful and petty little joke by a petty (in stature, not girth) little man. It did not contribute anything to society. Racists never do.

I'll let another, the Illusory Tenant (who is fast becoming a fan favorite), tackle the McBride issue (which I thought I did well, but you know the old saying about short people, Fred). He lays bare McBride's silliness and abject inability to make a coherent point because she fails to do the leg work.

Regardng my other post, titled "Oh, the Injustice" ... Fred accused me of being silly for searching for a gotcha moment. The moment, in his mind, the juxtaposition of Oshkosh gun shots and Juneteenth violence. They're not the same he roars.

Again, his argument, while welcomed because blogs are for the most part compiled of opinion pieces with invitations to comment, missed the point. Hmmm. Follow the keystrokes again. I was not comparing the degree of violence, I was comparing the coverage. The post had nothing to do with the amount of violence that occurs in the respective counties, it had everything to do with white conservative bloggers spending an incredibly inordinate amount of time on black issues. I understand why ... it plays to the dittoheads among you.

Wow, Limbaugh really was a trailblazer. Even as far back as the 1970s when he once told a black caller: 'Take that bone out of your nose and call me back."

Fred, if the shoe fits ....