Friday, May 25, 2007

What He Really Meant ...

Stalwart Republican and humble guy, Owen Robinson, has published his "Pledge for the Taxpayers." He sent the pledge to Assembly Republicans in an effort to publicize their position on tax increases, etc. Other Side, in a breaking news story (if the incredibly self important Saint Fred Dooley of RealDebate can do it, why can't we) has been provided with the first, unedited copy of Robinson's pledge (spelling and grammatical errors left intact). If it is true that the first thoughts written are often the truest, this version of the pledge tells quite a different story.

Dear Fellow Rebiblicans,

As nyou are all painful, the budget season is on us. To date the Republicans on the Joint Finace committee is a goal of mine have been unsuccessful in the massive spenfing and rax increases that my Govenor Doyle want to foist on ME.

I the taxpayers have a single hope ... ME. It is with each of you that the responsibility fior proitecting my assets rests. At convention last week, Speaker Huebsch said, "we will stand in the way of Jim Doyle and his tax increases, you can count on that." Well, I am counting on that. Indeed, i am inisistubng on it. It is all about me!!

Therefore, I am asking everyone to pledge that you woll not vote for a budget that includes any increase of my taxes or any fee increases that aren't directly related to delivering more services to me. If this leads to no budget being passed anytime soon, and all services are shut down and helpless old ladies in their homes are denied 911 service when they clap on clap off and potholes are not filled (except on the street directly in front of my home), t5hen so be it ... I'm a heartless fart. The Republican party should be p[roud of being obstructionist to be the party that obstructs my tax and fee increses - especilly because I am so overwhelmed by tax increases that I could't get my threee SUVs washed last week pay for that nice by the cost of their government.

I intend to publish the names of each of you who wil not pledge to hold down my taxes. The grassroots of the Republican Party, including, duh, myself, and the vast majority of like-minded sheep taxpayers will stand in unity with arms outstretched with those of you who stand up for me.

please reply to this e-mail (ht the Reply button, dummy) if I can count on you to be my advocate in the State Capitol.

I am humbler than most,

Owen Robinson

3 Swings of the bat:

Anonymous said...

OK, that's actually pretty dang funny.

- Owen

Other Side said...

It's why I like you, Owen. You can take a joke.

Anonymous said...

It's funny 'cause it's true.