Actual Writings From Hospital Charts

More from my Mother. She's so cool.

The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Note: Patient here recovering from forehead cut.
Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

An Angry Lefty for One Day

I’m just angry today. Yep, I’m an angry person today and I am a liberal so … viola … I’m a member of the angry left … today.

My good friend and blogging buddy, James Wigderson, author of Wigderson Library and Pub (which is a very fine blog) annoyed me yesterday and today (perhaps it was his intention) with his rant about the right needing to reach for a higher standard … a standard higher than liberal offensive speech … and his off-handed defense of Newt Gingrich's indiscretions.

I was flabbergasted at both the audacity and sagaciousness of his posts. Flabbergasted at the audacity because, other than some punks out in blogger land who write some truly offensive things about the President, who say offensive things about the vice president … you know, ordinary citizens who admittedly have the IQs of mice … it’s conservatives who dominate the mean-spirited end of the free speech spectrum. I’ve documented the notorious members of this brigade of hate, so I will not repeat myself.

But, I’m also flabbergasted at his sagaciousness because … well, James would be a great speech writer. I can see the less informed members of the conservative coalition (most of them) nodding their heads in unison at his seemingly convincing words.

Tom Tomorrow covers the Coulter phenomenon well … and the fact that she does not get it. No matter how many times James and others decry Coulter, the fact is a vast majority of conservatives enjoy and support her filthy mouthings.

The mouth that roared

Coulter explains her harmless, inoffensive little joke:
Right and I suspect everyone listening to your show knows about that. I mean, I know — well, I guess Pat is out in America now; you’re primarily in New York City. I give a lot of speeches out in America, I frequently visit America, and Americans are pretty freaked out about somebody going to rehab for using a word, and that’s of course what I was referring to. And I don’t think there’s anything offensive about any variation of faggy, faggotry, faggot, fag. It’s a schoolyard taunt. It means — it means wussy. It means, you know, Hillary giving a speech in a fake Southern drawl — that’s faggy. A trial lawyer who weeps before juries is faggy. Lifetime-type TV, faggy. Everyone understood I was not literally calling — well, I was not calling — well, for one thing, I wasn’t calling John Edwards anything. That was the whole point. I couldn’t talk about him, his life’s work, his appeasement policies, his wimpiness on foreign policy, because that word is out of bounds. So, in point of fact, I called John Edwards nothing. I said I couldn’t even discuss him because using any variation of that totally excellent word would send me into rehab.

This is, of course, the woman who “jokes” about murdering New York Times reporters en masse and assassinating Supreme Court judges and Democratic Presidents. Nonetheless, I find this defense extraordinary. Up until last week, there wasn’t a person in this country who would have argued that “faggot” is just a harmless word, offensive to no one. To say that it’s just a “schoolyard taunt” — well, I spent my middle school years in the south at the height of the integration battles (America being the place where I grew up and live today, unlike Ann, who apparently views it as a foreign land she sometimes has to visit). There were plenty of “schoolyard taunts” in those days targeted toward race, far beyond the “n” word. By Ann’s logic, she should be free to use any of them in discussing Barack Obama, because they were nothing more than harmless “taunts.” Why, if she phrased the joke properly — “I can’t call Obama a —— because it would be sooooo politically incorrect, ha ha ha!” — she could even claim that she hadn’t called him anything at all.
I invite her to try.

… it’s also sad that Ann, allegedly a professional writer, can’t think of a single way to discuss her negative feelings toward a presidential candidate without using a term that is considered hateful and offensive by most rational people. Maybe she should consider another line of work.


Lastly, James posts that the media still doesn’t get it about the Clinton impeachment. I’ve already commented at James’ site … the problem is James doesn’t get it. It really is about hypocrisy … James, and Gingrich, once again use that tried and true argument called equivalency in an attempt to sway the meager minds of their audience, however, the fact is Gingrich had an affair. For him to claim to be an authority on what is moral and a value is a travesty. For him to sit in judgment of Bill Clinton is ridiculous. For James to ignore it and to twist it in a different direction is a travesty, too.

Newt Gingrich is an Offensive Person

Gingrich can claim all he wants that he is not being a hypocrite (read the article) about having had an affair while leading the charge to impeach Clinton (over dubious charges … any lie he made having nothing to do with running this country, rather sexual indiscretions with an intern) … and now admits all this with James Dobson, grupenfuhrer of Focus With the Family.

Gotta love the christian conservatives. Now Newt will be forgiven in the eyes of god and all will be good.

It's a Baby Boy

A baby boy is born to Aaron and Kelly Kreel. I know Aaron as the author of the Subject to Change blog. He is an honest, thoughtful and good guy ... for a ... father (ha, thought I'd say conservative).

Good luck, good health for the little one and a speedy recovery to Kelly.

She is so Clueless

Jessica McBride said tonight on her radio show that she would not split with her President on the war in Iraq unless the generals said it was in our national interest to lose.


Huh?

A Really Bad Joke

Another joke from my Mother.

A sperm speciment was requested of an 85-year-old man by his doctor to conduct a sperm count as part of the man's physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this ... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried, too. First she tried with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor!?!?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open."

(But, what are friends for?)

High Minded Indeed

I know I’m cutting in on Mike Mathias’ (of Pundit Nation) schtick of exposing the high-minded intellectualism of some of the visitors to Owen Robinson’s Boots and Sabers site, but this comment from two-time “intellectual,” mickey, really is too good.

Regarding Ann Coulter: Mickey is right, Ann Coulter does does not represent conservatism. However, she and mickey do represent its uglier side.

Steve-zero, there is a difference between people of character like Owen, and liberal ass hats like you. Owen examines his moral conscience and chooses to suipport or not support someone based on their acts words and deeds Mental midgets like you choose your leaders based on their ideology. Ann Coulter is correct most of the time, but her “bile” as you call it, has lost her the modicum of support she recieved from the likes of Owen. Bill Clinton is a rapist, you have no problem with that. Republicans and conservatives take out their trash. Liberals get in bed with theirs. Zero, you morally bankrupt libs have a KKK WIZARD and TED KENNEDY serving you nicely. Then there’s William Jefferson.

Coulter is the Sub Conscious Right

Here’s another reason why Patrick McIlheran is irrelevant, and why the Milwaukee Wisconsin Midwest United States Western Hemisphere Planet Earth JournalSentinel should be ashamed to pay him.

He says in a blog post titled “Go Take a Nap, Ms. Coulter,” that he too has a problem with her use of the word “faggot” recently during a convention of conservative activists … of course only after seeing that others had made negative comments about her.

He hastens to add that he has found her to be a good writer, “… is often hilarious and can express a political argument incisively.” She can also be mean at times, he’s winked, but mostly she’s brilliant he’s opined, too.

I suppose these accounts, taken from a Slate Magazine article, are brilliant examples of her wittiness.

"[Clinton] masturbates in the sinks."—Rivera Live, Aug. 2, 1999

"God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.' "—Hannity & Colmes, June 20, 2001

The "backbone of the Democratic Party" is a "typical fat, implacable welfare recipient"—syndicated column, Oct. 29, 1999

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."—MSNBC, Oct. 11, 1997

"Women like Pamela Harriman and Patricia Duff are basically Anna Nicole Smith from the waist down. Let's just call it for what it is. They're whores."—Salon.com, Nov. 16, 2000

"I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote."—Hannity & Colmes, Aug. 17, 1999

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."—MSNBC, Feb. 8, 1997

McIlheran provides two examples of left-wing hilarity, as though that’s enough to make up for the army of talk radio, television, and blogger numskulls employed by the Rovian autocracy. His continued employment is another reason that, despite repeated calls for me to renew my subscription, I refuse to do so, relying instead on the free version on-line.

Though truth be told, I won’t be troubled if that version becomes pay-per-view. There’s are better places to receive movie time information (though I do like their baseball coverage ... Drew Olsen and Tom Haudricourt are top-notch).

Say What?

Tom Tomorrow