To Everything ... Spin, Spin, Spin

New from Rosco.

You are House Speaker Dennis Hastert and inquiring minds want to know why you did a "Catholic Church" regarding overly friendly e-mails sent by a colleague of yours to an underage page ... what is a House Speaker to do?

Press down and spin. Distract the public and confuse your listeners. Just press down and spin. Now only $10.95 plus tax. Comes with life- like Matt Drudge, Rush Limbaugh and Jessica McBride rubber heads. Remove the red top, and squeeze the rubber head over the little bear torso for a realistic spin.

Come to think of it. Do Rush or Matt have children? Me thinks they protest too much. Who's got e-mails? Call Paul Bucher. Oh, that's right. Better not. He'll be out of a job soon.

(disclaimer: author born and raised catholic, though somewhat lapsed)