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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Understanding Falwell

During his August 27 televised sermon, Jerry Falwell (sorry, he does not deserve the honorific of reverend) stated the following:

I expect the Lord to return in the 21st century to Rapture at his church. Now, I can't prove that. I cannot prove that the Lord is gonna come in this century. No one knows the day or the hour, but in my heart I believe it because there are no more predicted events that need to happen before our Lord can return.

Translation: I'm getting smarter. I figure that there are 994 years left in this century. I'll be long gone before its end and if the Lord does not return, no skin off my carcass.
I expect a global economy in the 21st century, which first will manifest itself as a cashless society. I believe that plastic will take the place of cash, and that while this will only be fulfilled during the tribulation period at the Rapture, I believe that God is setting the stage for, and laying the infrastructure for, a cashless society right now. Most people, many pay their bills online already. And the day will come, I believe, when there will be no cash, and the only way you can get cash and trade and to do business is to [points to his forehead] have the mark of the beast.

Translation: So, send checks to this address as soon as possible.

0 Swings of the bat: