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Saturday, October 06, 2007

There is a God

For you Yankee haters, last night's game against the Cleveland Indians was a classic. Here is a link to a humorous article by ESPN's Jerry Crasnick titled "Joba, Yankees can't avoid the plague."

I prefer to think of it along the lines of Yankee shortstop, Derek Jeter's comment:

"Just when you think you've seen it all, you see something new,'' New York shortstop Derek Jeter said. "I guess that's the home-field advantage for them -- just let the bugs out in the eighth inning. It worked.''

Good move, Cleveland.

Ode to the Last Good Conservative

Apologies to Tony Orlando and Dawn, authors of "Knock Three Times."

Hey boy what ya doin' next to me
Sittin' alone in your stall while I sit here beside you
I can hear your bladder contracting
I think of your sphincter compacting
One stall beside me you don't even know me
I love you

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

If you look out your window tonight
Pull in the string with the note that says gays are a no no
Read how many times I said it
How people believed I really meant it
Only in my dreams did I know I was living a lie

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show

I can hear your body voiding
I can feel there is no avoiding
That one stall beside me you don't even know me
I love you

(Refrain)
Oh, my darling, tap three times on my shoe top if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no, oh, my sweetness
(Tap, Tap, Tap!) Means you'll meet me by the urinal
Mmm, twice on the pipe (clink, clink) means you ain't gonna show


For Fred (Anytime, Anywhere ... mmm) Dooley

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

In Quest for Real Debate

With sincere apologies to Tom Tomorrow.

In tribute to Scott D. Feldstein who reguarly takes on the wingnuts and emerges unscathed, if not feeling a little dirty from the encounters. He was recently banned from the humorously named Real Debate Wisconsin blog, a creation of funny man and saint, Fred Dooley.

(click on picture to enlarge)

Monday, October 01, 2007

What Might Have Been and What It Is

Just imagine for a moment if President Bush had resisted his baser urges and the machinations of the oil industry (using its proxies Rumsfeld and Cheney). With the warring parties in Afghanistan pacified, and its government growing in strength every day thanks to American generosity and military might, and with Al-Qaeda in Afghanstan and Pakistan routed after a long fierce battle, Bush would possibly be remembered as one of our greatest presidents ... one I would have supported. Instead, his arrogance and failure to be focused will ensure he is remembered for this (and the thousands of other innocent deaths his adminstration is indirectly responsible for).

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (AP) -- Taliban militants hanged a teenager in southern Afghanistan because he had U.S. money in his pocket, and they stuffed five $1 bills in his mouth as a warning to others not to use dollars, police said Monday. Taliban militants elsewhere killed eight police.

The 15-year-old boy was hanged from a tree on Sunday in Helmand, the most violent province in the country and the world's No. 1 poppy-growing region.

You failed miserably, Mr. President. You wonder why people hold you in such disdain?